Post by Andrew on Jul 30, 2012 7:11:05 GMT -10
Enter Clown, Dick, Horse-courser, and a Carter.
CARTER. Come, my masters, I'll bring you to the best beer in Europe. What
ho, hostess! Where be these whores?
Enter Hostess.
HOSTESS. How now, what lack you? What, my old guests, welcome.
ROBIN. Sirrah Dick, dost thou know why I stand so mute?
DICK. No, Robin; why is't?
ROBIN. I am eighteen pence on the score. But say nothing! See if she have
forgotten me.
HOSTESS. Who's this that stands so solemnly by himself? What, my old guest?
ROBIN. O hostess, how do you? I hope my score stands still.
HOSTESS. Ay, there's no doubt of that, for methinks you make no haste to
wipe it out.
DICK. Why hostess, I say, fetch us some beer.
HOSTESS. You shall presently. Look up into th' hall there, ho!
[Exit.]
DICK. Come, sirs, what shall we do now till mine hostess comes?
CARTER. Marry, sir, I'll tell you the bravest tale how a conjurer served
me. You know Doctor Fauster?
HORSE-C. Ay, a plague take him. Here's some on's have cause to know him. Did
he conjure thee too?
CARTER. I'll tell you how he served me. As I was going to Wittenberg
t'other day with a load of hay, he met me and asked me what he
should give me for as much hay as he could eat. Now, sir, I
thinking that a little would serve his turn, bade him take as much
as he would for three farthings. So he presently gave me my money
and fell to eating; and as I am a cursen man, he never left eating
till he had eat up all my load of hay.
ALL. O monstrous! eat a whole load of hay!
ROBIN. Yes, yes, that may be, for I have heard of one that has eat a load
of logs.
HORSE-C. Now, sirs, you shall hear how villainously he served me. I went to
him yesterday to buy a horse of him, and he would by no means sell
him under forty dollars. So, sir, because I knew him to be such a
horse as would run over hedge and ditch and never tire, I gave him
his money. So when I had my horse, Doctor Fauster bade me ride him
night and day and spare him no time; but, quoth he, in any case
ride him not into the water. Now sir, I thinking the horse had had
some quality that he would not have me know of, what did I but ride
him into a great river, and when I came just in the midst, my horse
vanished away, and I sat straddling upon a bottle of hay.
ALL. O brave doctor!
HORSE-C. But you shall hear how bravely I served him for it. I went me home
to his house, and there I found him asleep. I kept a hollowing and
whooping in his ears but all could not wake him. I, seeing that,
took him by the leg, and never rested pulling until I had pulled me
his leg quite off. And now 'tis at home in mine host'ry.
ROBIN. And has the doctor but one leg then? That's excellent, for one of
his devils turned me into the likeness of an ape's face.
CARTER. Some more drink, hostess.
ROBIN. Hark you, we'll into another room and drink a while, and then we'll
go seek out the doctor.
[Exeunt omnes.]
CARTER. Come, my masters, I'll bring you to the best beer in Europe. What
ho, hostess! Where be these whores?
Enter Hostess.
HOSTESS. How now, what lack you? What, my old guests, welcome.
ROBIN. Sirrah Dick, dost thou know why I stand so mute?
DICK. No, Robin; why is't?
ROBIN. I am eighteen pence on the score. But say nothing! See if she have
forgotten me.
HOSTESS. Who's this that stands so solemnly by himself? What, my old guest?
ROBIN. O hostess, how do you? I hope my score stands still.
HOSTESS. Ay, there's no doubt of that, for methinks you make no haste to
wipe it out.
DICK. Why hostess, I say, fetch us some beer.
HOSTESS. You shall presently. Look up into th' hall there, ho!
[Exit.]
DICK. Come, sirs, what shall we do now till mine hostess comes?
CARTER. Marry, sir, I'll tell you the bravest tale how a conjurer served
me. You know Doctor Fauster?
HORSE-C. Ay, a plague take him. Here's some on's have cause to know him. Did
he conjure thee too?
CARTER. I'll tell you how he served me. As I was going to Wittenberg
t'other day with a load of hay, he met me and asked me what he
should give me for as much hay as he could eat. Now, sir, I
thinking that a little would serve his turn, bade him take as much
as he would for three farthings. So he presently gave me my money
and fell to eating; and as I am a cursen man, he never left eating
till he had eat up all my load of hay.
ALL. O monstrous! eat a whole load of hay!
ROBIN. Yes, yes, that may be, for I have heard of one that has eat a load
of logs.
HORSE-C. Now, sirs, you shall hear how villainously he served me. I went to
him yesterday to buy a horse of him, and he would by no means sell
him under forty dollars. So, sir, because I knew him to be such a
horse as would run over hedge and ditch and never tire, I gave him
his money. So when I had my horse, Doctor Fauster bade me ride him
night and day and spare him no time; but, quoth he, in any case
ride him not into the water. Now sir, I thinking the horse had had
some quality that he would not have me know of, what did I but ride
him into a great river, and when I came just in the midst, my horse
vanished away, and I sat straddling upon a bottle of hay.
ALL. O brave doctor!
HORSE-C. But you shall hear how bravely I served him for it. I went me home
to his house, and there I found him asleep. I kept a hollowing and
whooping in his ears but all could not wake him. I, seeing that,
took him by the leg, and never rested pulling until I had pulled me
his leg quite off. And now 'tis at home in mine host'ry.
ROBIN. And has the doctor but one leg then? That's excellent, for one of
his devils turned me into the likeness of an ape's face.
CARTER. Some more drink, hostess.
ROBIN. Hark you, we'll into another room and drink a while, and then we'll
go seek out the doctor.
[Exeunt omnes.]